Thursday, February 12, 2015

Thoughtful Thursday - I Accept!

As I considered what I might write about today, my mind drew a blank. So I followed the example of Dr. Sheldon Cooper and set about doing a mindless task so my brain could work in the background. Two piles of folded laundry later, today's topic emerged!

I discarded this subject matter several times as I folded socks, because you've heard it before. This time, it's different, though. Instead of accepting out of defeat or frustration, this time I'm accepting out of peace. Let me explain...

I've struggled almost my entire life with my weight and size. My body has never been thin or the perfect size. I've tried a few diets, but gave those up when my digestive system revolted and the diets made me sick. The numbers on the scale have gone down, but I've never been able to maintain the losses after going back to normal eating. I've done aerobics, calisthenics, walking, yoga, aqua-cise, even jogging. Regular workouts are something I enjoy very much, but they've rarely helped me shed any pounds.

According to those blasted charts, at 5'2", my ideal healthy weight is 110 lbs - about a size 4.  I've never been able to reach that ideal weight, even when I was 18 years old working three jobs, consuming little more than cold mac & cheese and Diet Pepsi.  My scale reads between 150 - 155 lbs, and my clothes are sized 12 or 14. This has not changed in nearly ten years, except for a few months when I was on another diet about five years ago. And then it went right back.

If I had the dead-eye shooting ability of my sister B, I would take one of those charts out to the back fence and pump it full of holes.

Last May, at the request of a friend, I began leading a Bible study class on weight loss, Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. This is a wonderful study - I highly recommend it - and it's not just for food struggles; it can be applied to anything that is consuming your life that shouldn't. Our class has gone through the first study twice and we're almost finished with the follow-up study (we've taken our sweet time getting through ALL the information!). One thing Lysa says early on in the study resonated with me: our goal in this journey isn't to be skinny - it's to be at peace. And finally...near the very end...I feel like I've found a peace just for me.

I believe that God has been trying to tell me with this study that my problem isn't that I'm overweight or that my body's size isn't good enough. My problem is that I've put far too much emphasis on those views. My normal diet is just fine:  I eat healthfully and according to my body's requirements. My exercise routine is just fine:  when I'm not injured (as I am currently), I work out 3-5 times per week. My doctor is pleased with my "numbers". I'm in good health. I can be happy and AT PEACE with that!

Thank you, Father God, for giving me this healthy body. I accept that it's exactly the size and shape You created it to be. I promise to take care of it as best I can and not obsess over "ideals" that are unrealistic.


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